January 2011
7 posts
That random erotic pic, I knew you were going to...
Do you have any sense of what’s going to appear on your dashboard before you refresh? Could you have a stronger, more accurate premonition if the post you were about to see was erotic, violent or scarey?
There is “evidence” for this kind of phenomena and it’s about to cause a stir. Dozens of news sites including the New York Times and The Daily Telegraph are reporting...
1 tag
We are in San Diego, where the beach, sea and sky are dazzling and where Tragos grew up.
Tragos was sitting in the kitchen tapping away on his laptop and I walk in and nibble cashews at the kitchen counter...
Me: Did you read that nytimes article on "sustainable love" and "self-expansion"?
Tragos: Hmm? [He comes over and joins me at the cashews]
Me: There's this article by Tara Parker-Pope on what makes a happy marriage, she's that wellness columnist who's written the book, For Better: The Science of Marriage?
Tragos: Did she write the article about how to train your husband like Shamu?
Me: No, that was a great article*...No, she keeps writing articles that reference her book, you know, like cannibalizing a dissertation into articles...Some of them are interesting. I've heard her discuss Gottman's relationship research; remember the Four Horsemen of the (Divorce) Apocalypse: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling? [Tragos looks like he's really into the cashews]
Me: That's why it's so good that we don't roll our eyes at each other, that was one of the "Contempt" behaviors they noticed in couples headed for divorce? [Tragos comes over to hug me, my hands are clasped behind his back, my cheek on his chest]
Me: So yeah, this article explained how the more self-expansion a person experiences through their partner the more satisfied and committed a person is in the relationship...[Tragos takes a gigantic breath, his ribs push into me, my hands snap apart, I grudgingly take a step back and look up at him, his cheeks are full, he looks like he's about to pop)
Me: Err...Are you OK? [Tragos inexplicably continues to grow]
Me: Do you have hiccups? [Tragos, all blimpified, shakes his head and gestures that all is manifest within him or something. I come out to have a constructive relationship conversation and he's clearly just messing around and not even listening to what I was trying to explain. I'm annoyed. I think about rolling my eyes.]
Tragos [deflates in a rush of air]: Self-expansion!
Me [giggling incredulously]: I love you.
It should be noted that I was in one of those we need to discuss things modes. So we went down for a walk along the beach (I much prefer walking around during "discussions"). Compared to me, Tragos is about 100% more articulate and comfortable discussing relationship stuff and stays focused until we meet whatever goals we need to. It was me then, during our walk along the coast, who broke off to comment "That's the fourth naked man I've seen. Are we on a nudist beach?" Yes, dear readers, of course we were...
* "What Shamu Taught Me About A Happy Marriage"
http: //www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html
