7th
My farce with The Rat of Unusual Size continues. I tried goat’s cheese first and he licked the trap clean without letting the trap snap. I’m told Turkish rats like “sucuk” (the sausage I’m slicing above) and that that would present more of a challenge. But this little genius just nibbled around the rat-trap mechanism. I tried nuts etc., etc…Every time I return to the trap thinking I must’ve got him I’m left screaming “INCONCEIVABLE”!!!……………………………. The thing is, he’s gaining my respect, nay admiration. This must be a phenomenon at least as common as Stockholm Syndrome and if there are criminologists out there who can tell me about this, please do. I’m joining the ranks of Elmer Fudd. I’m becoming like Boggis, Bunce and Bean in Fantastic Mr Fox and yes, if I was going to cast my rat in a movie, I might just get George Clooney to do the voice-over. Because this creature is routinely outwitting me, I have to pretend he’s dazzlingly smart just to protect my own ego………………………….. All this cutting of phallic objects reminds me of the “madcap feminist farce” of a movie by Vera Chytilová, “Daisies”. If you have a taste for (or would like a taste of) Czech New Wave Cinema and a lot of experimentation fitting for 1966, please watch this: ……………… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WVSYwVKmVs (a 3min set of clips from the movie). It mocks patriarchy, communist party dinners and makes me feel like a square. If I was about 300x more hip than I am with a large loft full of revelers I would definitely project this film on one of the white walls. I could then serve avant garde crudité and nudité……………………………… But here I am cutting sucuk. The Rat has improved me as a person. I have never been cleaner in the kitchen (Erma’s OCD in Glee? Nothing compared to me and my kitchen). My husband, Tragos, told me a charming academic chap I recently met bludgeoned his rat to death with a friend. I don’t think I’m the bludgeoning type…Perhaps that’s why the rat just kind of chuckles when I leap back after discovering him on top of the fridge. Tragos clearly has bludgeoning pheromones, the rat doesn’t hang out with him……………………. The good news is I have a new job here in Turkey, in a better space than I’ve worked in before and I’m really excited about it…
